A Wish I Cannot Grant

This past Easter I was in MD and my friend Go-Go and her daughter lil' Country came up from Columbia, SC to visit. Lil' Country is seven her years old and is my god daughter. Because of my busy work schedule I have been only been able to see them 3 times. Once in VA at my college roommates wedding, another time in Columbia at my sister's graduation to med school and the most recent time at my mother's place in MD.

LC is a smart little girl and was at one point at the top of her class in school but lately she has been slipping. More than likely it is due to the recent change in her life. The change being that she is no longer living with her father Dumbass. GoGo met Dumbass when she was living in Louisiana. That union brought LC into the world. GoGo moves to South Carolina and Dumbass follows. Now I thought Dumbass was a noble dude initially because he followed GoGo to SC and got two jobs so that he could support the addition to his family. Looking back on it now it seems that he was looking for a way to get out of Louisiana.

So I was having a conversation with GoGo about being away from Dumbass and she was telling me that she feels so much better and that she should have left a long time ago but only stayed for her daughter. It was at that point that GoGo told me about a conversation she had most recently with LC. LC had asked GoGo " Momma who are your best friends?" GoGo responds reponds with a list of people that included myself. LC then asks" Momma who is your favorite out of that group?". GoGo replies "Mr. Venom is". LC then asks her mother why she and Mr. Venom didn't get married? GoGo then tells LC that she was engaged to someone else when Venom met her and that GoGo and Venom are just friends and nothing more. GoGo then asks why does LC want Mr. Venom to marry her (GoGo). LC response " Because momma, he makes you smile." GoGo then asks "What about Daddy?" LC's response "What about him?"

This shocks GoGo. It shocks her because her daughter wants her momma to marry a man who she (LC) has only met three times in her entire seven years. Dumbass is her biological father. He's been in the household and he absolutely no relationship with his own daughter. GoGo tells me that Lil' Country wants Mr. Venom to be her daddy. I couldn't believe it and to hear it stills floors me. I have been told that I have always been good with kids but damn to make an impression like that on a child who has and knows who her father is is mind blowing.

GoGo did have a discussion on why I cannot be LC's father but there is a second part to this conversation. A part that GoGo did not have the courage at the time to tell me face to face. As soon as I find out what that is I'll let you people.