It has been made apparent to me that I don't talk enough of my personal adventures. To put it bluntly Slish is a bitch and what's to know more behind the scenes action. Here's your nugget you Batty Bwoy.

As some of you may know I have been going out with Au Natural. Let me take you back in time for a moment to our first date.

It was a Saturday and I was running late, about an hour late to be exact. I finally get to her job in NYC and we have an evening of bowling. Now I am no professional but bowling is a sport where you can easily get close to your lady friend if you know how to do it. Now we are bowling and drinking and carrying on. The next thing I know we bowled 5 games each which ended up totaling 90 bucks. SHIT !!!!!!!! 90 dollars and I all I have been able to sneak in is some cheap feels. She's lit from all the wine and I am on cruise control from the brew. Well it's 11pm and I'm thinking that the night is over but low and behold Au Natural suggest we find a spot to sit down and talk. So I can't remember if it was her or myself that made the suggestion but we ended up in Battery Park.

We are talking about this that and the other and then wham we start kissing.....hard. She feeling on me, I'm feeling on her. Regular lovefest out in the open in Battery Park. People walk by we stop, as soon as they leave it's back on. If there was a cop around we definitely would have been arrested. She honestly has one of the nicest set of milk pillows that I have ever seen.

After all that free love I decide that it is getting past my bedtime and take her back home. On the drive back to her apartment she invites me to spend the night because I might be too tired to drive back home. Now immediately the first thing that I think of is that this is a test and I might fail if I answer wrong. At first I said No, because the last thing I need is for her to turn into a stalker because I just met this woman and I really don't know where her head is at. Few minutes later she asks again if I was okay to drive home and wanted to spend the night. The Venom persona jumps onto my shoulder and says "Nigga you betta go get this pussy...." I respond " You know you are probably right....I think I will stay the night". I swear to you as soon as I said that I my funstick was harder than times in '29. Pull up to her spot looking for a place to park and she throws the whammy " You know I think its best that you go home". I said to myself "WHAT?!?!?!?!?! Are you fucking crazy don't you know I will catch a charge out here fucking with you"? I was pissed to the highest level of pisstivity. I didn't walk her to her door I was so mad. How could she allow me to leave with Smurf nuts.

I asked her later about what that incident was about inviting me in and shit and she said it was a test. She wanted to see what I would say, had no intentions in sleeping with me that night. Okay Au Natural, you wanna play games then will play but it will be by my rules.

Okay so I finished lunch and the woman at work is interested in my intellect and nothing else. I have given her the name Amazon. 6' ft tall in sneakers. This is a big girl. Not fat just TALL. Thank god I'm 6'1" otherwise I might get a complex like Slish. Back to Feelgood.

So this week I have been playing phone tag with Feelgood and we finally connect. Light conversation because we both have to get up earlier during the week. Myself at 5:30am, her at 4-4:30pm for the hospital. When I left there after Sunday brunch she said I had an open invitiation to her house at anytime. So I test the waters for a response and say to her " Listen I know your alma mater is having Homecoming this coming weekend but I don't think I can make it, I have a 4 year-old that hasn't seen his favorite Uncle in awhile but if the weather is bad and your are gonna be around give me a buzz". Now I checked the weather report and so far it looks like rain but these fucking meteorologist are always messing shit up.

I know what you are saying. "Mr. Venom if you want it you must take it......" I also know Slish is gonna chime in as well with his two cents but all I need to do is mention Barney's and he should shut the hell up from that point. Feelgood is on the farm league...CBA.......Division 2. You must put in time and develop before you put 'em in the pros. Y'all should know what happens to talent if you push them too hard and too soon.

So I'll keep the phone lines open and see what happens.

Okay I know I said that I would continue with the Feelgood story but I had to interrupt it for this quick story. In the previous post I mentioned that this woman where I work that may be hitting on me, well I received a call from her today asking if we are still meeting for lunch, now previously in the week I made a passing comment " Let's do lunch...." Well apparently she would like to do lunch and she would like to do lunch today. But the first question she asks me is am I paying or are we doing Dutch. First thought in my head, "why is she asking me if I am paying?" because honestly I didn't intend to pay for her meal. Whatever its just lunch and not dinner at Nobu. Then after I laugh at the comment and say I am paying then she proceeds to tell that " Good because I didn't know what I was gonna do". Hmmmm is this chick broke or does she just naturally assume a guy is supposed to pick up the tab.

Which brings me to my point. Why do women assume certain roles guys should have when doing things, like be the first one to ask the other out, pick up the tab and etc. I am not even dating this woman nor would I call her a friend. She is a coworker that's all, I have not done her performance review for a promotion. Hell I expect a woman to brainwash me if she is at the end of the month sitting at a stop sign but I know alot of times it doesn't happen. Am I the crazy one?

My my my these past few days have been quite interesting. The job wants me to go to N.C. but hasn't thrown some numbers my way in regards to salary. I had to make a emergency phone call for a person in need who up until recently felt everything was status quo. And I think this woman that I work with is hitting on me. No matter how much I care people are still a$$holes.

There are times when it is great being single and other times when being single sucks. Moving on.

Got a call from a nice looking young lady that I met, Dr. Feelgood, the other day. By the title you can guess her profession. Anyway I initially met her through my friend Jerzeekid at a birthday party. Nice atmosphere cheap drinks and good looking single professional women, what more could I ask for. So the night is coming to end and I was getting a few nods and pleasant hellos through out the night but nothing that would constitute as overt flirting.

Get ready to leave and Jerzeekid introduces me to his friend, Feelgood. Immediately this woman gives me a good hug and a warm smile. Never met her before in my life so I know she is drunk. I start up a quick conversation and the next thing I know I have an invitation to join her and her houseguests for brunch Sunday morning at her townhouse....kewl. Now me and my dumbass said the following words that need to severely slapped for..." I don't know if I can make cause I need to get back to NY early but we'll see...." Yes y'all read right I have directions and a phone number to Feelgood's place in all under 1o minutes. Did I mention she is PURRRRRTY.

Jerzeekid gives me a look that says " Nigga is you crazy ?!?!?" I look back and shrug at him like some fuckin' retard and Jerzee has gotta swoop in like the Man of Steel to help a nigga like his name was Bitch Lane. " Don't worry Feelgood, he'll be there".

The thought in my head was this. I don't wanna mess with no drunk chick that may not remember who I was and when we met and why I am at her front door looking for some food. And anybody who has met me knows I dress casual to the point that you would think I was homeless, not a good look at times but I don't give damn. Met the girl at her place and I was greeted at the door by a woman in rollers. She obviously didn't care what I thought she looked like in morning....I like her already. Gave me a quick tour of the place, sat down and had a short convo before the rest of the house woke up, mind you it is 12:30 in the afternoon. watched "Crash" told some jokes and left. Got home gave her the courtesy call that I was in and thought nothing more of the weekend.

To be continued..........

So yesterday was the day I found out that the firm is moving 45 positions to North Carolina. The move should be done by the end of 2006. I am 95% sure that I am part the move to NC but will get the final tomorrow or Monday the latest.

Pros - Homeownership which is something I have wanted for a very long time and I would have a very difficult time in doing if I continued to stay in NY, incentive packages, milder climate. Not to mention I have friends and family in which would make the move easier. I win a bet that I have with a friend of mine that curently lives there.

Don't get me wrong I LOVE NY but I have more love for NY than NY has for me. So the question becomes, why not leave?

Cons - Alot of my childhood friends are still in NY as well as a lot of family that I am close to. I've been a NY resident for over twenty years and am proud to be a New Yorker. I will miss it greatly. There is also a serious matter that needs to be addressed with a woman I used to see which may or may not effect the rest of my life and tonight is the night that I find out.

I have already told my manager that if I am part of the group that is being moved that I am more than willing to go. So basically come hell or high water (sorry New Orleans) I will be in North Carolina in 2006.

Since some of you want or need a joke to lift your spirits here's a really horrible one that I learned back when I was in high school.

What are three things you can't give a black man;
a black eye,
a fat lip,
and a job.

Thanks for the comment Slish I'll be sure address it at the end of this post. I went out of town this weekend to MD to visit friends and family and had a great time. Spoke to that a-hole Slish on my way down, he's so damn interested in what's going on with me and Au Natural. Since he's gonna find out through Barney's anyway I am not going bother keeping him informed.

Like I was saying earlier MD was great. Friday I got twisted at happy hour and ended up falling asleep at 10pm until the following morning. Real great way to start a long weekend, get drunk way too early and fall asleep snoring on my mother's couch fully clothed.

The next day I spent time with my younger sister at her recently purchased condo in Baltimore. Real nice place, it's not in the stabbing, shoot 'em side of B-more. It's in a predominately Jewish neighborhood, with tree-lined streets, clean sidewalks, police presence and synagogues. 2 bedroom 2 baths with a stacked washer and dryer in the kitchen all for less then what I was paying in rent when I was in the Bronx(Riverdale). Just another reminder that I need to leave NY to have a better quality of life.

Fast forward to Saturday evening I meet up with my friends from the area, The Collector and Mr. Transporter. I've known them both since high school and we always have a good time when we get together. We travel down in D.C. to this club called LOVE. Mixed crowd that night with a lot of potential for some good mingling. Get inside and they are playing salsa/meringue on the lower level and hip-hop/r&b on the upper level. Get upstairs and immediately I am impressed. Good looking crowd and with cheap drinks I am sure to be rubbing up on "my girlfriend for the night". Get some cheap drinks in me and I am ready to go...."E'er body in the club gittin tipsy"..... but like the Geto Boyz my mind starts playing tricks on me, it seems that the girls that are willing to dance or even have a simple convo are really drunk white chicks or really big girls. The sisters ain't showing no LOVE to anybody, hell even the nachos, red dots and "me love you long times" are off in there own world. Collector and Transporter then inform me that we should have been here on Friday when the crowd is more receptive(i.e. the ladies are easy like Sunday morning). Thanks fellas, I was deep in the sauce Friday and in no way was gonna make down to the nation's capitol in one piece. Get home at 4am smelling like cigarette smoke and tipsy..... oh yeah by the way I promised my mother I would be in church that Sunday morning.

Sunday morning and I am feeling like crap but have just enough energy to get to service on time, which means we were 15 minutes late. There is a visiting pastor because my mother's church is in "transition" (they booted out the previous pastor for his inability to lead his flock). I will be the first to say that I am not a church going person but this guy did give a very good sermon. One of his messages was, and I am paraphrasing, "You need to say goodbye to what was in order to say hello to what will be". Anyway with that said I am going to be speaking with my manager this week about making a transfer to the North Carolina office and what that entails.

To be continued........

Almost forgot...Slish you little troll of man, I can expect you to adhere to the same rules of engagement when posting comments and you know what I am referring to. You should ask Hot Mama about weak.

Welcome.

This is the first of what I hope to be many postings from me, Mr. Venom. You may have seen some of my comments on another site that a friend of mine does titled "I wish I had the life people think I have......". There are some that think that my comments are a bit off the wall. What you are going to get in this blog is just a piece of me. Every once in awhile there may be a profound thought, other times it will be laced full of expletives from some dumb ass that choses to test my intelligence. Either way I welcome opinions one and all, even though I think that opinions are like assholes...everybody has one and sometimes they stink.


Happy reading bitches....
Mr. Venom