Grrrrrrr.......

So I spoke to Kryptonite Monday evening, after she had a chance to speak to some of her friends. And they all agreed with me. Big surprise for her, she is quickly learning that I am not some okey doke type cat that will go along with whatever she says, silly rabbit.

Then in a true Venom style I told her that if tries that flip-flop shit again I will stop speaking to her. This got her attention because apparently she has a strong affinity for me. So the end result is that she will not be going out with other guys while she is going out with me. Not because I say so but because she doesn't want me to go out with other women.

With that settled, we proceed to move onto the next topic...why was THE BITCH and I together for three years before I proposed. In true Kryptonite fashion, she states that it was obviously my lone decision in why we were engaged in three years and not in one year (cue Godzilla music here). And in true Venom response I said this...." What the hell gave you the impression that I was the only one in control of us being engaged. You have absolutely no foundation for that comment especially when you didn't even ask me any questions!!!!!" Then I proceed say that she was in school finishing her undergrad at Temple. THE BITCH graduated in spring '03 and we were engaged in winter of '03. Then I tell Kryptonite that because I loved THE BITCH so much that I was doing everything I possible could to make her life easier and happier but she continued to take me for granted and one day I finally had had enough.

She then tells me that she can't bear to listen to me talk about the person I used to love (cue baby Godzilla music). I have had to listen to her not only talk about the men that have cheated on her as well as her divorce. She then tells me that her situation was different because it was a long time ago. Grrrrrrrrr.

Kyrptonite is getting closer to becoming a victim and I swear I am about to tell her so.

WTF

So I am having a conversation with Red Kryptonite this past Sunday about relationships. She tends to think in black and white terms, gender roles. She believes it is always up to the man to make the first move with no exceptions. The man should do this and the man should do that blah blah blah.

The conversation then turns to marriage and she states " If I have been seriously dating a guy for a year, I am expecting a proposal". " Why one year?" I said. She says" Because...I want to have more children and I want to get married so I can enjoy my husband before more kids comes along....I am 34 years old and I want more children and need to find a guy who will give me that before it gets too late.....Venom how long was it before you proposed to The Bitch"?

We were together three years before I proposed. This response gets immediately silence. She then proceeds to tell me that "we could never work because I could not wait more than a year for a proposal so we are going to have an open relationship". " What does open mean Red"? "Well" she says "it means that I will date other guys". "Okay and I get to date other woman...That's fine". She gasps and says that I cannot date other woman because it would make her upset. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!? Are you trying to tell me that you get to date other guys and I can't date other woman....Girl that is not an open relationship, what you are trying to do is tie me up until you find someone that meets your needs. She then tells me " I have to have a contingency plan otherwise I will not get what I want". " Kryptonite if you want to date other guys go right ahead but I will not limit myself to only one woman just because she doesn't want to share me with someone else...You have lost your mind".

This back and forth shit goes on for another twenty minutes and until finally I have had enough. "Kryptonite go ask anyone of your friends what you said to me and see what kind of response you get".

Now she is on the brink of getting cut loose, there is no possible way she can be serious about what she just said. I have no fuckin' idea what kind of nukkas she was dealing with before but I am not the one. So let's wait and see what happens, but I already know the results. No woman with a good simple common sense would agree with her.

There must be a classified ad with my pic on it stating all crazy nutty chicks please come see me I have a position open for you.

GOTCHA AGAIN

So the next evening I get over there. She cooked chicken, rice and spinach and I, like the food pig that I am, eat every last bit of this. I wish I could front and say that she cooked but that would be a lie. Did I mention that I was eating this dinner with her son that I just met? Insert uncomfortable moment here.

After dinner I am playing video games with her son and we tolerating each other, i.e. he is not shooting glances at me and what nefarious activities I have in store for his mother. God forbid I get caught like Philly Live with him bursting into her bedroom while she is riding me like a crowd favorite in the Kentucky Derby.

His bedtime is fast approaching and I am gearing up for another round of word play with Kryptonite. She sends him to his room and gets cozy with me. I couldn't tell you how this came about but she tells me " You know I have breast implants". My reply " No you don't, I know breast implants and you don't have them" . She then asks how do I know for certain. " Well I have I have had extensive educational training from Sue's Rendezvous, conveniently located at 96 Gramatan Avenue Mount Vernon NY 10550 and besides when you lay on your back they flatten out nicely". She then says that I am deifnitely wrong and I tell her prove it. She lowers her shirt and says " See? Here is a scar from the operation".......Grrrrrrrrr I'm like" The lighting in this place is atrocious I can't see a thing". GOTCHA. She then grabs my hand and puts on her breast to feel for the implant. GOTCHA. Guess what? I did feel an implant, go figure, I guess I am more of a hands on type person. Anyway after checking for lumps in the breast exam it appears the only one I found was in my crotch. So I made a mental note to go to the doctor to get that checked out but it finally went away after a quick trip to the bathroom, i read the cure in a home remedy book.

So we continue talking or better yet she talks and I just nod my head say " yeah...uh huh....right...that's funny...that bitch sounds crazy". Yes I am looking to get underneath that bra and at those " tig o' bitties". But I refrain...why? because I actually may like this one and I am trying to figure her out to see where this goes.

So do I continue to talk about this one in a blog if I am really feeling her? Ofcourse, for now, the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

GOTCHA

For the past two nights I was over at Red Kryptonite place. The first night I got there after seeing a buddy from a previous employer do stand-up at the New York Comedy Club. I call her and leave a message letting her know I was on my way. I get there and ring the bell, and there is no answer. First thought...This broad went out and didn't even say anything to me knowing we were supposed to get together. So I call her cell and get her on the phone to let her know that I am downstairs. She tells me that I will be right down. Five minutes pass and she still hasn't come downstairs so I call her back and tell her to hurry up because it is cold outside. Another five minutes pass, so now I am pissed and head towards my car to leave. As soon as I put my key in door she comes out the door and asks me what I am doing. What am I doing??!?!?! " I am about to leave because you had me waiting too long in this cold ass weather". She then says to me" I was cleaning and I had to get dressed". " Girl you looked dressed to me!" I said. She then proceeds to tell me that she just threw this on because she general cleans with little to no clothes on. Oh really?!?!?....I ran to the front door.

She introduces me to her mother that lives in the downstairs apartment and we head upstairs to hers. We sit down on the couch started talking about regular bullshit( sex, money, relationships and family). By the end of the night we are laying against each other on the couch but she is still playing hard to get with her lips but her body is betraying her. So my attitude is " Fuck it" I ask her " Would you prefer kissing me or grinding your ass in my dick on random basis". This gets a chuckle out of her. She then tells me " Maybe you should try coming 90% of the way and I'll come 10% like in the movie Hitch" I then said to her that "Maybe I'll just hit you over the head with a brick, take what I want and catch a charge later". I got her laughing harder now and she gives me a peck on the lips. I ask her if she uses her tongue when kissing she replies" Only when I am having sex". "Alrighty then I need to teach you how to use it when we are not having sex". She laughs again and gives me another kiss.

This banter goes back and forth and I announce that I am ready to leave. She doesn't want me to leave and asks to spend the night sleeping on her couch. She has an oversized love seat and is not made for myself and another person to sleep on. I suggest her bed and she quickly replies " If we were to go to my bed we will be fucking tonight and I am not ready for that yet but nice try Venom". You know a nigga had to try so she walks me down the steps kisses me goodnight and I leave. No more then five minutes later she calls me to tell me that she enjoyed our night together and is already missing me. GOTCHA. She should not have said that to me, we make plans to meet up Sunday evening at her place. I was supposed to help Slish that evening but he'll understand if I cannot make it.

To be continued.....

I WISH

I wish I could say there is a part two to the previous story "The Firm" but that hasn't happened yet. I wish I didn't have to go to work in the morning.....But a nigga got bills and is trying to build personal wealth. I wish that some of these women out here didn't have these screwed up opinions on male/female relationships. I wish these trifling cats would stop screwing over these same women. I wish I could actually get paid what I am worth. I wish I hadn't met The Bitch. I wish I kept in touch better with some of my childhood friends. I wish this world that we lived in celebrated and accepted our differences. I wish that there really were WMD's so there would be some justification for the military action in Iraq. I wish farts didn't stink. I wish the woman that I am interested in would ask more questions about what makes me tick. I wish that I didn't get the feeling of loneliness at times. I wish I could lose these last 10lbs. I wish this blog wasn't a pain in the ass at times.

I wish.

The Firm

So last night I went out with Red Kryptonite to a spot in Harelm recommended by Slish. I get there and you wouldn't notice it immediately unless you were looking for it which was good. The music was good and the food was decent but I should have pick a different spot for the first night. It was a little too much noise for the first time out and also I would have preferred in have her in a booth so I can hear and speak to her better.

So I am a little nervous because I try hard to make a good first impression. Red is looking good too. She has on a black titty halter top shirt, jeans and a some sorta additional top that puts those fun bags on display. I am dressed in fashionable jeans, cream sweater with matching skully, caramel brown leather and matching boots. Regardless of what you may hear I do know how to dress when I feel like it.

So we are eating and I am making her laugh and she is really having a good time. Most of the conversation is based on nonsense, so I really wouldn't be able to repeat it. She had the roast pork I had the salmon. She chose not to drink any alcohol and I did, but I ony had one drink. Dinner is winding down and I want to continue on so I asked her is she was down to catch a late movie from around my way. We ended up seeing Saw 2 which is actually a decent movie but since she saw it already she decided she was going to relax.

First she puts her head on my shoulder with her coat wrapped around her and dozed off, she then sits up looks at me and says" I'm really sorry but I was up late last night with my son and up early this morning to run errand I am just really tired.....can I lay across your lap? I say " Pretty woman wants to fall asleep with her head in my lap?????? Go right ahead.

In comes "The Firm". I was praying she wasn't going to move around too much otherwise my The Firm would have been in her ear all night. She falls asleep soundly and I continue to enjoy the movie. I wasn't upset that she fell asleep on me in a movie. Really I wasn't.

Movie ends and I am driving her home. I've been thinking about whether or not she kisses on the first date because someone women just don't do that others will suck your dick if the mood hits them right. I get her to her house and low and behold her brother from MD is there waiting to get into the house. Dammit. My hopes for a smooch go down the drain so I give a hug say goodnight and head home.

I get home and she calls me to tell me that she wished her brother hadn't showed up otherwise she would have let me in. What the fuck?! It was 3:15 am there is no kind a simple chatter that I am going to be doing at that time of morning and she knows it too. DAMN HER BROTHER. The FIRM could have an emergency meeting with the investors only to be thwarted by a special interest group.

Grrrrrrrr. That's okay because I persuaded her to invite my over tonight since I am not working tomorrow. Let's see what happens tonight with no brother around and I am stowed away in her room.

Benefits

Being single does have its benefits. Being single especially has its benefits when you are a black man with no kids and gainfully employed.

I was at a Pre-Holiday party for the sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha in Westchester. Now being a active member of Kappa Alpha Psi I always have a good time at sorority sponsored events because it gives me a chance to check out the available sistas. I spy with my eye something brown and thick.

This girl is tall and I say girl because she is only 24. Dammit too young, I know some of you guys have the thinking that "If there's grass on the field then playball" but I don't need to mess with a young chick, I'd rather wait until life has beaten them around a bit and they realize that all that bullshit they thought made a good man really is a fantasy. That's where I come in with my " I don't give a rat ass" attitude and say stupid stuff like "......you see the problem really is that you have too much coming out of your mouth and not enough coming into it....".

Okay maybe I went too far with that one but that is what I think about at times. Anyway back to event. So I am there dancing with all the "older" women of the chapter when it dawns on me. Maybe I need to find a woman who is closer to forty. Don't they say that forty is the new thrity? Let's review, by the age forty they either have already had all the children they wanted or if they haven't had any children they certainly aren't looking to have any now. They are settled in their careers and all that baggage they had in their late 20's and early 30's are in the trash now.

All they are looking for is a decent man who is working, intelligent, respectful. Well I have two out of three so I consider myself in the running. I would mention how Stella got her groove back but her groove was slighty bent so I will just skip over that. Anyway I think this is avenue I am going to explore I would take Slish with me but he is in love with Barney's so I will be on this adventure alone.

On another note Au Natural did call me back about a week or two ago. She's in a football pool and called me to ask for the game scores, I wasn't going to change the channel so I told her it was a commercial and that pretty much ended the conversation.

What Happened?

You would think at my age I should think about slowing down but I don't see it happening anytime soon. I was once in a committed relationship that ended really nasty a little over a year ago. Me and The Bitch were engaged to be married living the quiet life in Riverdale, when my future wife decides she can't take the pressure of planning a wedding. Mind you we really didn't have one concrete plan in place other than the time of the year and even that was constantly changing. She felt that I was always in her "stuff". I still don't know what that means and really couldn't give a shit and seriously doubt that she could explain it. There were also some others things she said she couldn't deal with which pretty much boiled down to her wanting her own space but with my assistance when needed.

Some of you need to understand that Mr. Venom wasn't always this way. Prior to the break-up with The Bitch I was one probably one of the nicest, most generous guys you could meet, ask Slish if you don't believe me. If I was on my last dollar I would give it to you if I thought you needed it more than me, that's just how I was. Slish has seen the transformation in me and I know there are times when he wants to shake his head and say " Damn nukka can you just show a little patience with the lady you just met her". Patience died the same day Mr. Venom was born, October 10, 2004.

My lack of patience has gotten so bad that I almost cursed out my step-mother the day before Father's Day over the telephone. I didn't but I did hang up on her. Any female that has met me before The Bitch is safe, all you other females out there....proceed at your own risk.

Some woman believe that a quiet man is weak man and therefore that man cannot protect them. Ain't you dummies ever heard "it's the quiet ones you need to watch out for". I think what surprised The Bitch the most is the means and extremes I used to rid her from my life. I did everything from breaking the lease on the apartment we shared to selling the car that I help her get, because she allowed the insurance to get cancelled and she expected me to help her get another policy for the car.

Even after selling the car and the division of the proceeds her last question to me was "Will you ever stop holding a grudge against me?". I looked at her dead in the face and said "Eventually...But until then I do not like you and I don't respect you.." I turned, got into my car and haven't seen or heard from her since. Sometimes I am asked if I miss her my reply " No".
My reasoning is that it is difficult to miss something I never had. I can't miss someone who didn't have my back when I had theirs. I can't miss someone would not go to the ends of the earth for me as I have done continuously for them. I can't miss someone who thinks I owe to them to make up for the tough childhood they had.

Mr. Venom was indeed raised better by his parents but still doesn't give a fuck. This psyche developed and morphed over years of dealing with The Bitch and like Slish has stated in his blog it will take a real and decent woman to give me the Anti-Venom serum. So all you needy, selfish Bitches with Cristal dreams and 40 ounce attitudes out there that think you should be given the world without putting in time and energy for a good, positive relationship....kiss my natural ashy black ass. I will demote you and only expect 3 things from you silly asses. FOOD, FUCKING AND FELLATIO. And if you are on your rag then open up and say "Ahhhhh" because I am cummin' to the party.

Venom Out.